1. |
Introduction
01:50
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For so many years now / I’ve tried to become a better person / While still numbing my pain / But that’s the funny thing about life / It breaks you down at times / When you just can’t handle the weight
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2. |
Contemporary
03:56
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It takes me so much reflecting every bad memory / But I guess, I was no more capable of such things / I’ve never got the recovery I truly needed / Take a good look around / All your friends and beliefs have slowly slipped away / When did we fall apart from the red line? / We‘re tangled up between death and life // We’re gonna be the tidal wave / Crashing into your sad world / To wash it away / And fill it with new hope / We’re gonna be the tidal wave / To wash it away // The waves come crashing / Refill me with new hope / Though the optimist I used to be / Struggles hard in this world full of cynics and sceptics / And I have almost lost sight of what seemed right for such a long, long time // We’re gonna be the tidal wave / Crashing into your sad world / To wash it away / And fill it with new hope / We’re gonna be the tidal wave / To wash it away
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3. |
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Waking up next morning / Tasting a bloody mouth full of regret / The words of last night hang like blurry letters above my head / You are the perfect combination of fire and kerosene / Only one half-hearted night / You make me feel bad for weeks / I can’t do this on my own / I’m just not the type of guy / So I just wait for my demons to come out at night / Where’s the finish line or was there ever one? / Or did I just become more familiar with the darkness of my soul? / I’ll put my hope in this night and my faith in this glass / I wonder if I will ever get free from my past // Since you’re that all I want / I’ve done everything wrong / This taste is so bitter sweet / Bound to the street and its blinding light / Is that all you can give me? // Desperation feels more and more attractive to me / Forcing happiness became my long lost lover / Love. Lust / You’ve torn me apart / You made me become so damn reckless / Getting behind the wheel at night / With nothing in my mind / And only anger in my heart / I’ll put my hope in this night and my faith in this glass / I wonder if I will ever get free from my past // The nails are already gone / So I keep biting my own flesh / I’m a nervous wreck / And to admit, all my friends were right / I could’ve died that night / All my friends were right / I could’ve died that night
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4. |
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Darkness has swallowed the place called home / And all I breathe is the dust you’ve created / As you left through the door / And all I notice is the smell of smoke / I wanna cough blood but I don’t know how to choke / I die a little inside every time / Cause I can’t watch you when I close my eyes // When I close my eyes / I cannot watch you when I close my eyes / But I don’t want you to go / Though everything has become a ruin / Old grey faces everywhere / And all because of you // Nowadays, it’s sad but true / You take your life for granted, then it takes you / I never thought this would happen to us / You became addicted to some kind of drug / I must admit I cannot really agree / About how you tried to hide your problems from me / And I hope someday you’ll finally see / You were the reason I couldn’t believe // Is this the end for you and me? / A house full of shining lights / But many closed doors / We are disconnected / We’ve lost the ability to feel / So many closed doors / We are disconnected / We’ve lost the ability to feel / Lost souls in a broken fucking home
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5. |
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September 20th, 1989 / A day my destiny could’ve been defined / Years ago we were like one of a kind / But now I’m struggling for existence in your mind / I always thought I could forgive and forget you / One day and move on / But it obviously never went that way / It has all gone wrong / Why do you turn your face away? / Tell me, are you ashamed of me? // Can you hear me sing? / Can you hear my words? / Slowly pushing you away / Pushing you off the edge // I don’t want to write this / But I need to get this done / Before I forgive you again / This is me, speaking sincerely / What does loyalty mean to you? / You ripped me out like pages from a book / I told you of all the damage with my mother / I thought you’d listen but you never did respond / No, you never even cared / I will never let my personal success be addictive from you / My sense of insecurity controlled my will for way too long / I won’t live in your shadow any longer / Believe me when I say // I have to overcome my own deceiver / To prove myself that I’m doing this right / I won’t live in your shadow any longer / I’ll prove myself that I’m doing this right
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6. |
Silhouettes
04:36
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[Instrumental]
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7. |
Northern Lights
05:24
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White lines on the street / Red lights in the sky / Can’t get any sleep at these lonely night drives / I wrote you this note but never told you about / I’m a mess and you were the only light in this dark place / Should I love you or despise you? / For the way you make me feel from day to day / And all because of you I’ll never be the same / Whether it’s for better or for worse / I still don’t know where I’m drifting // Strike the match / This love will burn in violet and red / But trust me baby / This fire will slowly burn us out / Strike the match / This love will burn in violet and red / But trust me baby / This fire will burn us out // And all because of you / I’ll never love again / Cause my past seems like a vulture circling around my head / Oh lovely aurora / The green night sky pours pure poison into my mind / I feel hollow but still mesmerized / With a smile that already drowned other ships / The vindictive sea never seemed prettier // Strike the match / This love will burn in violet and red / But trust me baby / This fire will slowly burn us out / Strike the match / This love will burn in violet and red / But trust me baby / This fire will burn us out
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8. |
Grey Matter
05:05
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Where were you last night? / You left me bruised and broken on the floor again / And when I was about to exsanguinate / You came across and said goodbye / But I admit I’ve never told you / About the sense of death I felt / Those nights by your side // And then I can’t believe it / There’s no place I’d rather be right now than here / Right now, right here / My heart is on my sleeve for everyone to see / So why can’t you see? // Why can’t you just tell me we’re gonna fail again? Since everything I’ve tried so far didn’t work / Cause I’m a sucker for mistakes / Days bleeding into days / And I’ve lost track of everything / Days fading into weeks / Still no progress to see / But I admit I’ve never told you / About the sense of death I felt / Those nights by your side // And then I can’t believe it / There’s no place I’d rather be right now than here / Right now, right here / My heart is on my sleeve for everyone to see / So why can’t you see? // This is my life (My life) / Sure, I won’t accomplish everything I want / So I take a few things out of this life (My life) / And just hope, I can get them right
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9. |
Heart Wrecker
04:52
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Seems I can never wash myself clean / Always feeling incomplete / So tell me, where can I find some peace? / When I can’t put my head at ease // I’m browsing through some old photographs / And I must admit that the family tree has truly seen better days / Is it just regret repeating in my head? / Hunting down all the words I’ve said // Seems I can never wash myself clean / Always feeling incomplete / So tell me, where can I find some peace? / When I can’t put my head at ease / I always walked right down memory lane / But it never got me anywhere but here / And now I’m stranded here all alone / Pretending like I don’t care / But I still care // It’s somehow ironic / If you read these lines / Written by a stranger like me / You probably know me better than my own friends / But I can’t blame anyone but myself // Maybe it broke my heart to see you shining bright / But as long as your love shoots fireworks in the sky / I will always find a way to come back home / I will always find a way to come back home again
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10. |
Phenomenon: Delusion
04:43
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Two years in review, what can I say? / They really tried to get the best of me / My mind tried to tell me that this world is not worth living / There is a painful truth behind every word I’m singing / My father never really let me down / My mother tried her best to make it through / So how the fuck did I become this desperate to you? / Am I not meant to be happy? / Or is this just a phase? / I sincerely hope it will fade / Or will I just fade with it right away? / When was the last time I said „I love my life“ / And meant what I said? / As I try to retrace all the steps / I realize, it’s all in my head // My mind tried to tell me that this world is not worth living / There is a painful truth behind every word I’m singing / Obsessed by the idea of fading, it’s all in my head / Resignation becomes truth, set the stage for the dead / Should I continue living for my own regrets? / I was really about to believe that there was nothing left // For so many years now / I’ve tried to become a better person / While still numbing my pain / But that’s the funny thing about life / It breaks you down at times / When you just can’t handle the weight / I won’t let this be my destiny / And I will fight my way out of this monotony // I’m tired of searching places to rest my mind / I will live my life running, I got nowhere to hide / And you’re right / I have many things to work out / But I still have time / I still have time / Cause I’m still alive / I’m still directing my life / I’m still alive / I’m still directing my life
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